Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
