my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
it's like iHOP with fire
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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