Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
