No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
