the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
