You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
