Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This baby is an asshole
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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