Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
