is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
