so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
