somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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