the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
