Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize