So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
