she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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