whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Randomize
