pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The power of my boobs compel you
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
