are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
