so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
