I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
