Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
