Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
PANTIES FOUND
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