I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
