i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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