I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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