y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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