I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
