you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
