$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
