I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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