ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Enjoy the penises
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
