it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
