is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize