Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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