The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize