i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize