ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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