maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We're too hungover to prance.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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