i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
