Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
