That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize