why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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