Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
