She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
