I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
