Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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