Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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