It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
