i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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