I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Small penises have feelings too.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
