she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Couch. On fire.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
