Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
