a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
