i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
