shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
