I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
