Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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