wat bout pragnant strippers??
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
