So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
