I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
worst night to have a conscience
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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