Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
