I need help removing her.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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