Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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