You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
