That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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