Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize