he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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