The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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