508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
