Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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