you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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