Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize