Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
